Typing these words weighs heavily on my heart, and I sincerely wish the circumstances were different. This post is one I hoped I wouldn’t have to write, and one that I wish no one had to read. However, I feel compelled to share this in honor of our beloved Birdie, believing that she would want other pets to experience the same care and comfort in their final days as she did.
For those who are new to my blog, our family recently said goodbye to our cherished 12-year-old Maltese/Chihuahua mix, a loss attributed to an aggressive autoimmune disease and, in all likelihood, cancer. Coping with losing her at the tender age of 12 has proven to be incredibly challenging. In my mind, a petite 6-pound pup like Birdie should have had the privilege of celebrating at least 15 years of life, if not longer.
Amidst the grief of losing her, I’ve devoted significant time to introspection, and I feel compelled to share a few insights that have provided solace. As I reflect on my last week spent with her and her passing, I am grateful to say that I harbor no regrets. Even in the midst of my sorrow, I’ve discovered reasons to be thankful. If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of recently losing a pet or anticipate such an event, I sincerely hope this post offers you some comfort and guidance.
- I spent as much time holding her as possible leading up to her death. I cancelled plans, let the housework go, and just laid with her and held her. That’s all she wanted, to be held by her person, which was me. I feel it was the best gift I could give her in her final days.
- As hard as it was, I tried to temper my emotions while holding her. If I started bawling while I was with her, which was quite frequently, I would leave the room for a few minutes to gain back my composure. I noticed it stressed her out if I was overly emotional, so maintaining a calm demeanor was important.
- After I had made the vet appointment to put her to sleep, I had a few hours to spend with her before I had to take her in. It was helpful for me to find a song that I felt represented her passing. I stumbled upon “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. One of my favorite nicknames for her was “The Bird” so this song proved to be perfect. The poignant line “Bye, bye baby it’s been a sweet love” resonated deeply. In fact, I’m crying again just typing this. But it represented her crossing over so beautifully. Every time I think of that line, I cry, and I embrace the tears. This has been such a cathartic process for me. I’m grieving and releasing the emotions instead of numbing them, ignoring them, or letting them get trapped in my body.
- On the night of her passing, I compiled a list of aspects for which I was grateful. Her peaceful passing, the dignity in which she died, and the privilege of holding her until her last breath were all significant blessings. Despite the heartbreak, being there for her in those final moments was about providing her comfort, not about my own emotions.
- Reflecting on my favorite memories of Birdie brought forth a deep sense of gratitude for the joy and spunk she brought into our lives. Although 11.5 years felt too short, I am profoundly thankful for the role of being her mom.
- Just as I did for Bosley in 2020, I plan to order a beautiful gravestone for Birdie, creating a therapeutic space for remembrance and reflection.
- A friend sent me this poem a few days after she passed and it truly comforted me:
You’re giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond into your soul,
I see you in the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.
The strength that you posses,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it’s the only way.
That strength is why I followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I’ve loved you all these years…
My partner to the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You’re giving means to me,
It gives me back the strength I’ve lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that’s within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog.
My pain and struggle done.
And don’t despair my passing,
For I won’t be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I’ll stay.
I’ll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I’ll run,
…a young dog once again.
-by Gina D’Andre…
To those of you who have recently lost a beloved pet or are currently facing the challenges of a sick furry friend, my heartfelt condolences go out to you. The pain of their absence is profound, and it’s a testament to the unfair reality that their time with us is tragically short.
Pets, with their unwavering love and companionship, are undeniably precious gifts from above. In these moments of grief, I find solace in the belief that one day, God will reunite us in Heaven. May your cherished memories and the love you shared with your pet provide some comfort during this difficult time.
Beautiful words . I still grieve for the pets I have lost . It truly is a painful experience
Thank you for sharing
Beautiful words . I still grieve for the pets I have lost . It truly is a painful experience
Thank you for sharing